


Dark Side Of The Moon

by the_trixster_and_the_fallen



Series: Slips In Time [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cas and Dean - Freeform, Castiel and Dean Winchester Fight, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Dark Side of the Moon, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Day, Emotional Hurt, Feels, Heaven, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Meta, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pain, SPN - Freeform, Sad, Sad Castiel, Sad Dean Winchester, Supernatural - Freeform, angel - Freeform, castiel - Freeform, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 09:05:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17598329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_trixster_and_the_fallen/pseuds/the_trixster_and_the_fallen
Summary: The apocalypse is inevitable; god has left us. But i'm not giving up on you.





	Dark Side Of The Moon

**Author's Note:**

> {{This work is set after season 5, episode 16. It has an episode recap woven in so you won’t get too lost. Ship is destiel. Enjoy! If you want to see what else im working on, feel free to follow me on tumblr @sweetteamultifandom}}

 

Cas has spent his entire existence marching with purpose, dedicated to an entity he wasn’t sure exists. He has watched mountains surge and crumble, humanity flicker into existence in the blink of an eye. Free will was never a prospect he considered. It’s useless. It’s so very human.  

So, when Cas’ mission became to lift a single soul out of the depths of hell, he didn’t question the intent. He was to follow orders without a doubt in mind.   

Diving to the depths of peril, the righteous soul shone so bright it was blinding. Even tucked in the very corners of the fiery pits; It was weak, but persistent. Like a man who wouldn’t break, a man who would fight until the very end.   

Curling his celestial form around it like a protective blanket; he held the fragile soul close. It is a mere blip of humanity ripped from the chains of confinement for a destiny unknown to the Angel. A mark is left on the soul of the human as he rips him free, dropping him back to his weak, human form before returning to the heavens.  

Despite Castiel’s duty being fulfilled; he felt a pull to the human he saved. Was he ok? Is he safe? He was able to drown him out among the many prayers that filter through his mind daily. When he was told he was return to earth to protect the human, he felt something.  

Days turned to weeks which then melded into months. Following around this human named Dean Winchester. Cas was to protect him, his only orders. It was a sense of duty which then unraveled to a purpose.   

He began to learn what it is to be human; to feel. So many emotions, so much to discover. The more the angel was around him, time began to slow. He was no longer detached from humanity, instead he felt entranced by it. He was in awe of a beauty that had taken for granted. He had spent centuries watching; observing them as they evolved. But he had never truly appreciated it until now.   

Despite his fascination, faith was still his priority. To serve under heavens’ rule, to blindly follow as a solider would. Without hesitation and to the death if necessary. So when the first flicker of doubt arose within himself, it felt impossible. Could it really be that he had spent his life serving to no end?   

So a search had begun. The amulet firm in his grasp he began to look for answers he would never find. Hitting wall after wall. Then before Cas knew it, he felt the soul he rescued from hell fizzled out. It was alarm bells in his mind; this wasn’t part of the grand plan. He used every fibre of his being to reach Dean in heaven, to make sure that he was alright. Cas communicated, hung close by to discover why they had been set on this path. Then it comes to him; Joshua. If the boys’ found him, they would be led straight to god. They simply needed to find the garden.   

With new determination, the boys set out in steed of the angel who watched from the earth below. Through the tropes of memories, they stumble into the garden to find the man they had been searching for. Their last hope; the salvation they had craved.  

But it all collapsed under the weight of the truth. God didn’t care. He was going to sit back and watch the world burn. He took no fault in what was occurring and the apocalypse was no longer his problem. They were well and truly alone.   

As the boys’ return to their mortal vessels, Cas appears in silence. He looks lost, leaning against the divider as Dean and Sam pack up their bags to head out.  

“Maybe… maybe Joshua was lying.” Cas murmurs, clinging to any threads of hope.  

Both brothers turn to give him a look, Dean already shrugging on his jacket.   

“I don’t think he was. Cas, I’m sorry.” Sam let’s out a gentle sigh.  

Dean watches as Cas moves into the entry way, eyes drifting to the ceiling. His jaw clenches, his face portraying all the anger, hurt and absolute devastation as he speaks; “You son of a bitch. I believed in...”   

Dean watches, wanting to approach Cas but he remains still. The angel searches for a sign, something to prove this is all a mistake.   

Turning to face Dean, the angel slips the amulet from his pocket and tosses it to the plaid clad hunter.  

“I don’t need this anymore.” His eyebrows furrow, heart heavy, “It’s useless.” Turning on his heel, he doesn’t hesitate when Sam asks him to stay and vanishes without a word.   

He doesn’t go anywhere in particular, flittering from place to place in an attempt of feeling some comfort. Any solace from the fact that his world is crumbling around him, his faith now suffocating him and constricting his vessel.   

The sun slipped from the horizon, bringing on a starless night and despite his best efforts he is still lost. So he locates the one person who might understand. He finds the hunter at a motel on the outskirts of Kansas, alone. Slumped in the darkness against the impala hood, the light rain washing the dirty pavement as the broken street lamp flickers above. The angel’s dress shoes grate against the broken bitumen; Dean tilted his head a little to the side but didn’t breathe out a word.  

Castiel was desperate to find something to cling to. God had abandoned them, all of his children. The knees of his vessel felt heavy, his heart hammering in an unfamiliar way and he could feel something welling up in his chest. The angel felt so lost, he needed to feel- something.  

His hand reached out, stopping mere inches from his shoulder as the hunter flinched.  

“Dean-” His voice is soft, pleading.  

“Fuck off, Cas.” He breathes out with flared nostrils, teeth gritting.   

The angel doesn’t say a word. He knows Dean is just as broken as he is; his emotion is roiling off him in thick waves. Cas leans against the car door, not daring to look up at the heavens that betrayed him. After thousands of years of servitude, this is what he got?   

His eyes remain downcast until the hunter draws himself to his feet. He shot the angel a look; who straightened in silent confidence. Neither wanted to appear weak in front of the other. Despite their profound bond, there is still unwavering pride between human and angel.   

“This, all of this...” Dean spat, waving his hand around, “pre-destined crap. It’s not fair. We spend our lives being dragged around; saving people, hunting things. We are good people. We don’t deserve this.” He drags his tongue out over his lips, hands on hips as he glares. Cas doesn’t have an answer, hell, he doesn’t have enough stability to give any philosophical response. It’s like his brain had short circuited. He had nothing to give.   

“Come on Cas, where is all your wisdom-y crap now?” He huffs, still impatiently pushing despite the angels’ warning glare.   

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Dean,” Cas tsks, blue eyes blazing, “This has been set in motion well before my very existence. It is what it is.”    

“It is what it is?” His voice grated a few pitches higher, throwing his hands up in frustration, “That’s your big motivational speech?”   

“Everything is pointless. It’s no use fighting what’s meant to be.” He sounded defeated, eyebrows creasing and Dean looks like he’s rallying up for a fight.   

Hands clenching and unclenching, he grabs onto the lapels of Cas’ trench coat.   

“Do something.” He urges the angel who remains motionless. The rain begins to fall faster, both men unwavering as they become soaked to the bone. They search desperately in the eyes of the other; looking for answers or guidance but all they held inside was pain and betrayal. Cas felt his heart surge with an overwhelming sadness as Dean spoke again; “Please, Cas. Fix this.” His voice breaks, the hunter swallowing quickly as they both know that what is coming is inevitable. Destiny could not be changed and they both knew that their demise was impending.   

Dean let’s his hands slide up to grip the side of the angels’ face, his eyes reading so much pain and despair. Cas could hear his silent pleas, his begs like prayers as they flood the Angel’s mind. So loud, so much emotion that it was crushing. Cas wanted it to stop, for him to breath and have a glimmer of hope. He did the only thing he could think of in the moment.   

Stepping forward, he closed the gap between him and the hunter. Lips on lips, both frozen for a moment in shock. Dean is the first to react, carding his fingers through the angels’ hair and tugging him impossibly close. With parted lips it became a flurry of unsure hands and broken kisses; unclear feelings and clouded judgement. They both are clinging to something solid in the hopes of filling a broken part of themselves. It became a struggle to find what they were searching for in a place where it wouldn’t be found. The shared intimacy feels empty, meaningless in place of where it should have been passionate and full of something other than broken dreams and crushed souls.   

The guilt weighed heavily on both of them as they broke apart, regret and tension hung like a blanket around their slumped shoulders; both shrouded in wet clothes and shame. Heated breathes mingle between them, the tingling sense that they were still pressed so close together. Neither dared look each other in the eye or breath a word. What could be said? With a breath, Cas disappears into the night leaving Dean alone in the shadows to grieve over what could not be changed.   

 

 

 

 


End file.
